I am not going to sugar coat it. Life as a brand new, first-time mommy in the 21st century is tough.
It is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do and yet, it is also likely to be one of the most rewarding. Your baby deserves the best, but how can you give her the best if you do not look after yourself? This is why we curated a list of Mommy Must-Haves, some of which make great gifts for a new mom.
The thing is, nature has wired us biologically to respond to our baby. You cannot stop your hormones from making you overreact when your baby cries for you (at least, not without practice!) and you cannot relax if your baby is upset, in pain or simply, crying because she is bored.
Besides the physical wear of interrupted night sleep (assuming you get some), there is the never-ending mental and emotional burdens that you carry as a new mom. The constant worry of whether you are doing the right thing. Does that sound familiar?
Gifts for new moms: Mommy must-havesÂ
But there are ways to make life easier for you. I have found that although I can’t stop my baby from needing me all the time, there are tools that can help me deal with day-to-day survival as a mom with a young baby. I discovered these secrets through lots of research, reading, listening to other moms and by trial and error.
There are many baby registry lists but when it comes to mommy must-have lists for moms with newborns, these are less talked about. Why? Mostly because moms with newborns are normally too exhausted tending to their newborn to care about publishing such information.
But such information is incredibly useful and vital for new moms! When you are a new mom, not only are you home-bound but you are also incredibly time-poor.
Better over prepared than under-prepared
I wished that I had been more prepared with such information and made my purchases BEFORE baby came. As it happened, I spent a lot of time in the middle of the night frantically googling for such information, soliciting mom forums and making urgent purchases from Amazon.
Some Mommy Must-Have Lists suggest things like body oil and facial masks. Not for me! I have never found the time nor been vaguely interested in putting a facial on myself during any spare time. Instead, any spare time I get is spent trying to put some sanity back into my life, catching up on sleep or watching something that makes me happy.
Below are what I consider my most important Mommy Must-Haves, especially for new moms with newborns. The caveat to this list is that babies are different in their needs and preferences. So you may find that your baby needs something that my baby didn’t or vice versa. Parenting philosophies can also be as different as the sun is from the moon, so your list will similarly be influenced by your parenting philosophy. As an example, compare a mom who believes in sleep training compared to a mom who doesn’t (you get the idea). At the end of the day, whatever works is best! All power to you!
Mom care items
If you have never heard of a postpartum recovery wrap before, I do not blame you. If I had not ballooned to almost four times my normal stomach size when I got pregnant and developed a backache, I would never have even heard of this either.
I was so huge that my friend thought that I was carrying twins. I was not. As it turned out, my baby was born in the 99% height percentile so maybe that had something to do with it.
After I gave birth, I continued to look very pregnant and my stomach did not shrink as quickly as some of my other mom friends who had smaller stomachs. I became determined to return to my normal size before pregnancy.
This was when I discovered the postpartum recovery wrap. This ChongErFei is a particularly good brand because it comes with 3 separate pieces of wrap to suit your different recovery stages, starting from after delivery when you still feel sore, to when you are ready for serious wrapping. You start first with a belly wrap, then move onto a waist belt and finally, move onto the pelvis belt.
Not only did I feel less pressure on my back after I started wearing it, but I looked better with my stomach pulled in. I cannot scientifically prove that the wrap helped me regain some of my pre-pregnancy body but I do believe it helped. Some people might feel skeptical on how much wraps like these actually help a recovering mom but for me, it was better than what I could have hoped for.
If all it did was alleviate my backache, it was worth it.
As you can imagine, I highly recommend the wrap, especially if you have a big pregnant belly.
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Peri bottle or bidet
After your delivery, you are going to be a little sore ‘down there’. During this time, your peri bottle is going to be one of your most frequently used items.
You will use it to get yourself clean using water instead of toilet paper, and avoid discomfort that is caused by the plain ol’ act of giving birth, whether due to birth tears, hemorrhoids etc. Even if you did a C-section, you can still use it to wash yourself as your body will continue to discard fluids after delivery.
You can also invest in a bidet instead. A bidet used to be confined to the domains of Japanese toilets but not any longer! A bidet not only helps you feel cleaner and saves the environment (less use of toilet paper) but ever since the toilet paper pandemic of 2020 (also known as COVID-19), people have started to seriously consider toilet paper alternatives.
They are relatively easy to install and worth using, even long after your delivery!
In case this was not obvious, another very important Mommy Must-Have is a smartphone! Truly, I am not kidding. Not only will you love having access to YouTube, Facebook or Netflix while you are up at all hours of the night feeding your newborn but you also need your smartphone to Google the endless questions that you will inevitably have. Also, I found it priceless to be part of mom social media groups where you can ask questions, vent and find some empathy from other moms when you are sleep-deprived and stuck indoors most of the time.
I remember when I was rocking baby to sleep in my arms when she was still a newborn. I was super tired but our ritual was for her to fall asleep in my arms, and then I would gingerly put her in her bassinet. Not only was it exhausting, but it was also super boring. She could take up to 2 hours to go to sleep.
I would normally spend the first 10 minutes staring adoringly at her. Then to pass the rest of the time, I would go to my smartphone to do research on questions I had, check my social media posts or watch something.
In the morning, I sometimes woke up extra early to have some alone time in the dark, reading things on my phone while my baby slept next to me.
The point is, I spent a lot of time on my phone in the dark or semi-dark. I noticed after a while that I developed a headache from starting at my phone in such lighting, which was a symptom of digital eye strain.
Thank goodness, I found out about blue light glasses. There is still controversy on whether blue light glasses work but I found that my headaches disappeared immediately once I started using them.
They helped me get through the oh-so-long nights during baby’s first year.
As a side comment, they also make great gifts for non-moms. I mean, who does not spend a lot of time on phones and other electronic devices now?
Baby care items (baby must have’s to make your life easier)
4. Baby forehead thermometer
In my opinion, EVERY parent of a newborn should have a forehead baby thermometer and in my opinion, the best value forehead baby thermometer on the market is the baby forehead thermometer.
Why do I say this? Because I have personal experience of freaking out when I thought my newborn had a fever. There are a few major reasons why you should get this baby forehead thermometer:
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- It’s true that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you should take a newborn’s temperature rectally. However, how comfortable are you pushing something up your young newborn’s behind? Both my husband and I were simply unable and unwilling to do it. Yes, we were cowards but I think most parents will feel the same as we do. Also, be aware that it is also recommended that you should use petroleum jelly when doing this. Thank goodness that the baby thermometer is a forehead thermometer and does not require you to do anything traumatizing like that.
- Some other forehead thermometers require you to gently press the thermometer against your newborn’s forehead. This sounds fine except in reality, if your newborn is like ours, she won’t be happy that you are pointing a gun-like item at their head. To get a proper reading, you need to hold it for 2 to 3 seconds, which seems like an eternity when you have an uncooperative newborn. Also, if your newborn is asleep (and all parents know sleep equals to parent-heaven and something you NEVER want to interrupt), the last thing you want to do is wake a potentially sick, sleeping baby. But good news, the forehead baby thermometer DOES NOT require you to press the thermometer against the forehead. It is a no-contact-required thermometer which means that you merely have to aim it at your newborn’s forehead without touching the skin.
- Last but not least, although the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you should take a newborn’s temperature rectally, in reality, when you are freaking out, it’s better that you are able to have a mostly accurate temperature reading, than to have no reading at all. In our case, when we were naïve parents and didn’t have the baby forehead thermometer, we ended up taking our newborn at 2am in the morning to the hospital’s Accident & Emergency department. The great news is that she was fine. The bad news is that we ended up paying $500 out of pocket. That’s a lesson for you! Also, this is the reason why I tell every brand new parent about the importance of getting the baby forehead thermometer or something equivalent.
5. Pigeon nail scissors
BUT, you can make it a lot easier (and less traumatizing) if you get the Pigeon nail scissors. Scissors for fingernails? ‘No way!’ I hear you say? I totally understand. The first time I heard this suggestion, I was ludicrous. Prior to my newborn, I have NEVER used scissors for my own fingernails before. But after my traumatizing experience of accidentally cutting my newborn’s skin when trimming her nails, I decided to give the scissors a try.
And it’s true. It is a LOT easier using scissors than fingernail clippers. I have researched lots of fingernail clippers (even the fancy ones with a magnifying mirror and tiny light) and the biggest problem with them is that…they are just too big for tiny newborn fingernails. It’s hard to feel like you are in complete control when you are using clunky clippers to get to nails that are so tiny and soft.
The Pigeon nail scissor blades are tiny themselves, made of stainless steel, much easier to control and more importantly, they don’t block your line of sight when you are trying to snip. I like the Pigeon nail scissors because they are from Japan (you know how careful the Japanese are) and it truly is designed for newborn nails. The only downside with these scissors are that it takes a long time to ship over to the US (about 3 weeks for me which feels like eternity when you have so much nail trimming to do every week!)
If you can’t wait that long, there are other really good scissors on the market too like the Simba baby nail scissors and the Piyo Piyo baby nail scissors (just be aware that Piyo Piyo’s blades are slightly curved which may make it more suitable for older infants).
6. Viva naturals organic extra virgin coconut oil
7. Brewers yeast
If you are breastfeeding and your milk supply is lacking, brewers yeast has been found to be effective for many moms. Take a few tablespoons every day in lactation chocolate chip cookies or if you don’t have the time to bake, just simply add it into yogurt, juice or smoothie.
The Twinlab brewers yeast is a particularly good brand because the natural bitter taste of brewers yeast seems to be less strong compared to other brands.
8. White noise machine
A white noise machine is essential when you are trying to help a newborn sleep. There are many white noise machines to choose but in my personal experience, a great white noise machine has the following features:
- Timer and continuous play- a timer option is useful because it allows the white noise machine to turn off by itself. However, sometimes your newborn may take a longer time than usual to fall asleep. What you don’t want to happen is your white noise machine to turn off before your baby has fully fallen asleep as the sudden silence may jolt him or her awake back again! You may also want the white noise to remain on for the whole night to cloak other external sounds that may disrupt your newborn baby’s sleep so having the option of both timer and continuous play is important.
- Portable- we bring our sound machine along when we go on vacation or outside the house to help baby sleep.
- Has a hook- this allows you to attach the noise machine easily to other nap spots such as your newborn’s car seat or stroller.
- Durable- your newborn baby may at some point find the white noise machine interesting and want to play with it. You want to make sure that the white noise machine is not fragile but can withstand some rough handling from your baby.
Cooking
9. Instant Pot pressure cooker
Have you ever heard someone rave about the Instant Pot? It’s like a cult-following! I first heard about this amazing Instant Pot when I attended a ladies baby shower. One of the ladies claimed that if she were left on Survivor Island (and assuming they had electricity), Instant Pot would be one of the items she would bring with her.
Based on these comments, I purchased one for myself and I can now see why everyone loves it so much (on Amazon, there have been over 100,000 purchases as of 2020!).
It is like an extraordinary pressure cooker/steamer/rice cooker/slow cooker/sauté/warmer/ yogurt maker mixed into one. You can use it to cook a whole variety of fancy dishes including curry, crème brulee, beef shanks, whole duck, clam chowder, brown rice, quinoa and lobster.
I am quite fussy when it comes to choosing cooking utensils but this Instant Pot meets with my mark of approval for health. It is made of high-quality stainless steel (not aluminum) and comes with a very useful steam rack that I use all the time.
Another amazing part of this Instant Pot for a busy mom is that it reduces cooking time. According to the manufacturer, it reduces cooking time by up to 70%. How significant is that? This is so convenient when you literally don’t have time to do anything apart from caring for your baby. And when your baby is ready for solids, you can use the steamer to steam vegetables, fish and meat which is a huge plus for healthy eating. Since I got this Instant Pot, I no longer use the microwave to heat up baby’s food.
But by far the BEST part of this Instant Pot is that it is programmable! For a new mom, this is life-changing. Why? Because once you are a mom, you no longer have 100% control over your time. (Who is in charge? Your baby).
For example, you may decide that it’s time to cook but your baby may throw up a hissy fit or poo or do any number of things to stop you And that’s why many moms abandon cooking and opt instead for baby jar food or takeouts- it’s too hard (no blame here).
But with the Instant Pot, cooking becomes a lot easier. Let’s say that your baby wakes up in a great mood at 7am. You can quickly take the opportunity to do food prep and put the food in the Instant Pot ready for cooking and program the cooking to begin just before lunchtime. Once the cooking time is up, the Instant Pot will automatically switch to “Keep Warm” mode. At lunchtime, voila! You have freshly-cooked food waiting for you. It’s perfect.
If I was only going to invest in one cooking appliance, this would be it.
10. PREMIUM vegetable steamers basket
This is a very important accessory for your Instant Pot. I was in no way a perfect eater as a new mom but I did try to steam food when I could. This steamer basket allows you to steam food easily within your Instant Pot. Vegetables, eggs, fish, tofu…I did all kinds of steaming.
Later on when your little one is ready for solids, you will find yourself using it a lot again to cook healthy for your little one.
Cleaning
11. Philips AVENT 3-in-1 electric steam sterilizer
In the first few months, bottles become your life. Even if you fully breastfeed, eventually you will need to use bottles. Whether you are going back to work and you need the daycare to feed your baby (or like me, you just need a break), having your baby accept and take a bottle is a good idea.
You will be surprised by how many bottles you need in a day if your baby is fully bottle-fed. For example, you need bottles for pumping the breast milk into and since your baby takes a fresh bottle at every feeding, a newborn can go through 8 bottles in a day.
Even if you fully trust your washing or the dishwasher to fully cleanse those bottles, it’s still a good idea to boil or steam those bottles once in a while to get rid of any lingering germs.
Not only can you steam bottles in it, but you can steam a lot of other things that your baby will eventually put in his or her mouth.
I have sanitized pacifiers, toys, breast pump parts etc. It feels good knowing that you don’t have to worry about dangerous germs lurking in stuff that you give to your baby.
One word of caution, not all plastic things will survive in the heat of this sanitizer. I have had one plastic teether melt in this sanitizer so please make sure you check the instructions on the packaging of an item before you put things in.
I especially like the Philips AVENT 3-in-1 electric steam sterilizer because it uses natural heat to kill germs. Some moms prefer the convenience of using a microwave steam sterilizer but I personally prefer to limit the use of microwaves on items that my baby will be putting in her mouth. Although research seems to indicate that microwaves are safe, the paranoid side of my Mama Bear-ness is still uncomfortable with that. At the very least, you shouldn’t be using your microwave around your newborn due to the risk of microwave leakage. But I cannot deny that a microwave bottle sterilizer is easier to lug around than an electric steam sterilizer. The electric steam sterilizer is something that you should put in one permanent location while the microwave steam sterilizer should be used when you need to frequently be on the move and sterilizing in different locations (such as when you are on vacation).
12. Black+Decker cordless handheld vacuum
Cleaning is one of those household chores that get left behind and is one of the biggest gripes that new moms have. Not only do you now have a little bundle of joy that creates new stuff for you to clean every day but there’s no way you have extra time now!
I cannot tell you the number of times that I have heard moms moan about piles of unwashed dishes, laundry and for me personally, never having time to vacuum and mop the floor anymore.
Worse, this is exactly the time that you want a clean and tidy house. Why? You are worried about exposing your baby to germs, you have tons of visitors wanting to come and see the baby and you are at home so much now that a tidy, clean house suddenly becomes even more desirable.
It gets especially irritating when you can clearly see the mess but can’t do anything about it because you have a sleeping baby that (God forbid you wake up) or a baby that is literally almost 24/7 attached to you.
Of course, you have the alternative of hiring a cleaner but unless your cleaner lives at your house or you have an amazing supportive family member that helps (which I do), you still need to get some housework done yourself.
But it still sucks when you see messes around but have to wait for someone else to get to it. One day, my annoyance over my lack of ability to clean bubbled over and I lost my cool and I screamed at my husband for not picking something up that had been lying around for weeks. It was unfair of me to do that and at that point, I realized that I had to invest in something that would give me a little bit back of control over cleaning so that I wouldn’t get so annoyed so easily.
Enter the amazing Black+Decker cordless handheld vacuum! It’s handheld so that you don’t have to worry about dragging your huge, cumbersome, heavy vacuum cleaner around or plugging it in. Equally important is that this is cordless so you do not have to waste energy finding a plug to plug it in.
The vacuum sits on its own charging base and that’s where I keep it- just permanently plugged in after every use. In this way, the vacuum cleaner is always fully charged and I can use it whenever I want.
It makes quick vacuuming around the house simple, convenient and so easy. I can just pick it up whenever I see a speck of dust and have only 10 seconds to spare. Or if I am lucky, I get a minute or two to do a quick walk through the rooms in the house and vacuum up any dust I see. On average, I probably only spend a minute or two each day vacuuming the house. It’s not perfect but I feel much more at peace with our current standards of cleanliness.
On top of this, I get to work on the car too! This vacuum is a perfect size for giving your car a quick vacuum.
This vacuum uses a lithium-ion battery so you don’t have to worry about its suction power fading as you use it. However, since it is a smaller capacity vacuum cleaner, it can only go for about 15 minutes (it is handheld so you will be bent over using it which is why you don’t want to use it longer than 15 minutes). So while it cannot replace your regular vacuum cleaner, it will help you retain a feeling of control and cleanliness in your home. Also be aware that like the majority of lithium-ion batteries, these batteries will only last for a few years before their suction power fades and you have to get a new one.
In my opinion, the purchase is totally worth it for your peace of mind.
13. Robot vacuum cleaners
If you want your house to be even cleaner, consider a robot vacuum cleaner! The basic ones can vacuum whenever you want it to! For example, you can set it up to work upstairs while you are downstairs with your baby or vacuum downstairs while you are doing bath and story time. If your floors and walls are pretty sound-insulated, you can even let it vacuum while baby takes a nap or at night when everyone is asleep.
The fancies ones can be programmed to clean at certain times of the day and even mop!
While it is amazing knowing that you could literally have your house vacuumed every day, be aware that just like before a cleaner comes, you do need a few minutes to pick things up and block things off so that the robot vacuum doesn’t end up vacuuming toys or long-stringy rugs. But we absolutely love coming to a newly vacuumed house when we wake up in the morning!
Robot vacuum cleaners used to be a luxury product but thanks to market competition, these robot vacuum cleaners are very affordable now, especially if you get them during sale times. They are almost similar to the price that you would pay for a cordless stick vacuum!
iRobot Roomba is one of the original robot vacuums but I personally prefer eufy because Roombas tend to be louder. A great basic affordable eufy vacuum is the eufy BoostIQ RoboVac 11S MAX.
Robot vacuums do have the same downsides as cordless vacuum cleaners which is that they use lithium-ion batteries too. These batteries tend to have only a life span of a few years, if not less. However, when you consider the price you would have to pay for a regular cleaner, these robot vacuums are also so worth it!
14. Spray bottle
As mentioned before, when you have a newborn in the house, you will find yourself caring about cleanliness a lot more than usual. However, too many cleaning supplies have toxic ingredients in them and even the scents are way too strong for my liking. I realize that I may be more of a paranoid mom than others, but I do worry about the amount of chemicals that my baby may be exposed to.
This is why I try to limit the use of strong cleaning chemicals for things that truly need it. I prefer to use natural ingredients for everyday cleaning purposes like wiping down tables, floors and high chairs. Unlike high-exposure environments like public trains and hospitals, your home doesn’t need super strong chemicals on a regular basis.
In my opinion, every household needs to have these three ingredients for natural, safe, effective cleaning:
- Lemons
- White vinegar
- Baking soda
I normally combine a little bit of white vinegar, lemon juice and water in the spray bottle and use it to wipe down surfaces. White vinegar is slightly acidic and this gives it disinfecting qualities as well as smell absorption properties. The same goes for lemon juice. Here are some ideas on how you can use white vinegar for household cleaning. Baking soda, on the other hand, is more alkaline and similarly, this alkali makes it a very effective disinfectant.
The main point is, you don’t need to resort to harsh chemicals to keep your house clean when you have a newborn around. Just invest in one or two spray bottles and make your own safer cleaning solutions. I like the ChefLand 12 Ounce Empty Spray Bottle because it is plastic and not too big in size. You can get a glass spray bottle too but I worry about knocking it over (which is not too impossible to imagine when you are sleep-deprived and distracted by a crying baby).
Carrying/Mobility
15. Boba Wrap 0-18 months
Every mom of a newborn needs a baby carrier. Even if you have someone at home to help you with your newborn, you will find that your newborn only wants you. And who can blame them right? For 9 months, they have grown accustomed to your body heat, the way you move, your smell, your voice…why would they want to be anywhere else?
A baby carrier is the closest thing to help your baby transition from being in your tummy to feeling comfortable being outside in the big world. More importantly, the baby carrier will help you maintain your sanity so that while you are forced to be a Mommy Kangaroo (baby wants to be carried by you all the time), you can still have your hands free to eat, check your phone messages and sanitize the many baby bottles that have now entered your life.
I like the Boba Wrap because it is especially good for newborns and even premature babies can go in it. Just beware that like any other baby carrier, you do need to make sure that you use it correctly.
Besides the Boba Wrap, I also like the Moby Wrap for newborns as they sort of simulate the snug feel of the womb. If you live in a very hot and humid environment, be aware though of overheating the baby. If you want a long-lasting baby carrier that you can use from newborn to toddlerhood, try the Baby K’tan Original Baby Carrier or Infantino Sash Wrap and Tie Baby Carrier.
There are many, many different types of baby carriers on the market and truly, the only way to find out what is best for you and your newborn is to try it out. If you happen to be in a mommy group, you could potentially borrow some to try but I have found that the easiest way is to join a Babywearing International group chapter that not only allows you to borrow a baby carrier for approximately a month, but also has expert baby wearing volunteers who will happily show you how to use a particular baby carrier. Unfortunately, if you are not in the US, they have limited international chapters but you should still check out their webpage as it has so much useful information.
16. Baby Trend Snap N Go EX Universal Infant Car Seat Carrier
We got given the Baby Trend Snap N Go EX Universal Infant Car Seat Carrier and we are so glad we have this! It is a Godsend when you have to transfer a sleeping baby from their infant car seat to a stroller. I cannot tell you the number of times that my newborn fell asleep in her car seat while we were on our way to an event and if I did not have the Baby Trend Snap N Go EX Universal Infant Car Seat Carrier, we would have had to endure one of two uninviting outcomes; miss the event altogether or wake a sleeping tired baby.
The Baby Trend Snap N Go EX Universal Infant Car Seat Carrier only fits with certain car seats so it won’t be suitable for everyone but we like it because it gives us more freedom to switch between different brands of car seats. It is also very light, non-bulky and easy to maneuver in tight spots. Be aware that it won’t fit convertible seats because convertible seats are not designed to be removed from the car.
Here is a shareable Infographic of my favorite Top 5:
So I hope that you found this mommy must-have list useful! From a mom to another mom, hot from the trenches…! See you at the end of the tunnel- it gets better eventually!
