Is it possible to sleep train a newborn baby? Should you sleep train a baby? There are a lot of methods out there including the Ferber method, the Cry It Out method and bedtime routines.

When I struggled to put my newborn baby to sleep at night, I read tons of articles online, and borrowed four different books (listed below) to discover how to sleep train my baby:

                                                       

If you have the time, read these books yourself to gain a deeper understanding of the strategies and how they are different. But if you are sleep-deprived and desperate for a solution NOW, in this article, I share:

Why I Gave Up on Ferber & Cry It Out Sleep Training for My Newborn

The Ferber and Cry It Out sleep training methods require your baby to fall asleep on their own. You have to ignore them when they cry to ‘teach them’ that they are not going to get any attention and comfort by refusing to sleep. Often, this means that they cry for hours, and end up falling asleep due to exhaustion.

For me, this meant enduring hours of gritting my teeth, sitting on my hands…listening to my baby cry. Pure torture.

You see, I know when my baby’s crying crosses over from being ‘upset’ to ‘hysterical crying’. I was trained musically since I was a kid and I can hear pitch differences easily. Different baby cries indicate different emotions.

I can distinguish between the cries of babies who are merely fussing or angry, and those that are truly upset and breaking down.

When I tried the Ferber method and Cry It Out method, my baby’s crying reached a pitch that indicated to me that she was going hysterical and I could not do it any longer. Her crying sounded like she felt abandoned, and was crying for help.

I do not enjoy seeing adults in pain; so why would I allow my own newborn infant to undergo such pain?

You might have read that some experts believe that leaving a baby to ‘cry it out’ may impact them negatively. On the other hand, there are studies that suggest that letting babies ‘cry it out’ is fine.

Although I craved sleep, I did not want my desire for sleep to take priority over my baby’s needs.

You just need to decide what you believe in and what choice is right for you and your family.

As for me, the Ferber and Cry It Out methods just broke my heart too much.

Having said this, I believe the Ferber method and Cry It Out methods are not appropriate for newborns and younger babies only.

For older babies who are more than 6 months of age and have identified themselves as separate entities from mom (newborns do not see themselves as separate from their primary caregiver), the Ferber method and Cry It Out method may be helpful at that point.

When babies can distinguish that different actions result in different responses from their parents, I imagine that the Ferber and Cry It Out methods could be useful to train babies to go to sleep, especially if the baby already has a night time routine and knows that it is time for sleep (and therefore, does not protest too much).

For Newborns- Happiest Baby on the Block Wins!When it comes to newborns, the Happiest Baby on the Block method wins, hands down.

Before I discovered the Happiest Baby on the Block, my baby used to take 1½ to 3 hours to properly fall asleep! In between feedings every 3 hours, this literally meant that I got no sleep. I was desperate.

Using the Happiest Baby on the Block sleep training strategy, I managed to get my baby to fall asleep in only ten to fifteen minutes with no crying involved!

It was a miracle.

The 5 S’s of Sleep Training Your Baby

The Happiest Baby on the Block method was conceived (yep, I threw in that pun!) by Dr Harvey Karp.

According to Dr Karp, babies (especially newborns) have the ability to self-soothe themselves to sleep and there is no need to let them cry it out.

To help your baby do this, there are 5 foundational S’s that you should follow in this order:

  1. Swaddle

The method requires you to swaddle your baby with their arms facing down. Swaddling your baby provides them with the safe, comforting sensation of being in mommy’s womb.

It also prevents your baby from waking themselves up when they accidentally hit or scratch themselves with their hands.

  1. Side/Stomach Position

Next, hold your baby on her side (facing your stomach), over your shoulder or facing down on her tummy. These positions will help calm baby down. But remember, to reduce the risk of SIDS, when you finally put her to sleep, she should be lying on her back.

  1. Shush

‘Shush’ refers to the use of white noise. For me, this third ‘S’ was a life-changer as it really helped our child to sleep. We continued to use white noise to help our child sleep even when she was more than 2 years old.

  1. Swing/Shake

This ‘Swing’ is meant to imitate mom’s movements when baby was in the womb. As you can imagine, it was jiggly in the womb. To do the ‘Swing’, support your baby’s neck and head, and jiggle your baby with tiny movements (about one inch only), back and forth.

  1. Suck

Most babies sleep better when they have something to suck on. This is one of the reasons why breastfeeding babies fall asleep on mom’s nipple!

For older babies where breastfeeding is already established, you can use a pacifier. For a younger breastfeeding newborn, if you are worried about nipple confusion, you can use a clean finger instead.

Why We Love the Happiest Baby on the Block Sleep Training Method

Discovering the Happiest Baby on the Block method was a game-changer for us in sleep training our baby.

  • Baby Falls Asleep Fast

 The first time I applied the strategy, my baby fell asleep within 2 minutes! This was a miracle because my husband and I had previously spent up to 3 hours to get our newborn to sleep.

Of course, some nights, my baby took longer to go to sleep. But on average, my baby took about 15 to 30 minutes.

  • You See Fast Results

This strategy produced fast results compared to the Ferber method and Cry It Out method.

The Ferber and Cry It Out sleep training methods require repetition over days, if not weeks, until your baby learns that Daddy or Mommy is not going to pick them up when they cry at night.

With the Happiest Baby on the Block method, you do not leave your child to cry. Instead, you soothe your child to sleep.

  • Baby Sleeps Longer

I was surprised to find that the Happiest Baby on the Block method not only helped my baby to fall asleep faster, but she slept longer too.

Before we tried this strategy, baby would sometimes start herself awake again after 30 minutes of sleep (goodness, I nearly tore my hair out after these times!)

But with the Happiest Baby on the Block strategy, our 2 month old baby would sometimes stay asleep for 5 to 6 hours!

Admittedly, this did not happen every night, but I am thankful when she did.

If you are worried that baby may not be getting enough food if you do not wake her up every 3 hours to feed her, Dr Karp tells you to fill her up during the day to cover for any missed feedings at night. So during the day, I fed my baby more often; every half hour to 3 hours on demand.

  • There Is No Crying

I think that due to natural hormonal changes, moms are especially bothered by their babies crying. This is nature’s way to protect babies as moms are their first protector.

As I mentioned before, hearing my baby cry for an extended time was pure torture for me.

With the Happiest Baby on the Block strategy, you do not have to let your child cry. Instead, you are holding them and soothing them to sleep.

How We Sleep Trained Our Baby

After using Happiest Baby on the Block to sleep train both our first and second babies, I have learned some additional important insights on how to maximize sleep training success.

  1. Follow the 5 S’s Strictly

When you first start out, adhere to the rules of the strategy strictly. The strategy needs to be applied in the correct order. Later when you become more confident, you can then vary it to suit your baby or situation.

  1. Your Baby Must Not Be Hungry

Make sure that you have fed baby well before you put her to sleep. If baby is still hungry, the strategy will not work. Because my baby sometimes fell asleep while breastfeeding, I did not know if baby was completely full.

When she was not fully fed, she would wake up again after being put down to sleep. Then, I would have to feed her some more and repeat the 5 S’s.

  1. Baby Needs to Be Ready for Sleep

This strategy is not as effective if baby is not ready for sleep.

Once, my baby slept too much during the day and she was bright-eyed that night. The strategy did not work as she wanted to play and was not tired enough to go to bed.

We had to tire her out first before we could reapply the 5 S’s.

  1. Swaddle with Arms Down

Dr Karp states that you should swaddle baby with their arms facing down. In this way, it is harder for their arms to come loose from the swaddle.

Before we learned to swaddle our baby with her arms facing down, our baby used to fight her swaddle. She always wanted her hand loose, which allowed her to eventually escape the swaddle.

Following Dr Karp’s instructions on how to swaddle, she could not escape her swaddle and to our surprise, she did not fuss either.

If you struggle with swaddling your baby with their hands down, then Dr Karp has invented the Sleepea 5-second swaddle to help.

  1. Get White Noise that Plays Continually All Night

White noise is an essential part of the Happiest Baby on the Block strategy. You can purchase a white noise machine, download free White Noise apps, find a YouTube white noise video or even tune your radio to a dead station.

More importantly, look for white noise that will play all night. Many white noise machines on the market only play for a limited amount of time. A lot of them shut down after 30 minutes.

Unless you want to keep on getting up every 30 minutes to turn on the white noise machine again, this is a No-No! We got a machine like this and love it.

  1. Play the White Noise Loud Enough to Drown Out Other Noises

It is important that your white noise is switched on loud enough that it drowns out some of the background noises that might wake baby up. But if you are slightly paranoid like me, you do not want to make it too loud to damage your baby’s hearing! It just needs to be loud enough to sound like a shower or vacuum cleaner.

  1. Think Jell-O Jiggle

When Dr Karp talks about the fourth S which is ‘Swing’, think of the Jell-O type of jiggle, rather than a rock or sway. The jiggles need to be tiny movements, not the usual rocks or sways that you normally see parents do.

  1. The Final S is Icing on the Cake

When you first start off with this strategy, it is highly recommended that you follow everything suggested including providing something for baby to suck on (pacifier or a clean finger).

However, the final S of ‘Suck’ is ‘icing on the cake,’ as Dr Karp says on his blog.

The first few nights, our baby wanted something to suck on. However, she quickly grew tired of the pacifier and learned to fall asleep without it.

This might be because she was used to sucking on mom’s breast and did not think a plastic pacifier was a good replacement.

Regardless, eventually, our baby did not need to suck on anything for her to fall asleep.

Worse Come to Worst…

If you cannot seem to make the strategy work, or you are too tired to try, Dr Karp has invented the SNOO bassinet that does everything for you. You read it right, it performs all the 5 S’s to help your baby sleep so that you do not have to. You can either purchase it from his website or rent it!

How awesome is this? This can be a life-saver if you are too tired to learn everything yourself (or if nothing seems to work), and you just want to get back to sleeping well at night.

For Older Babies Who Are Not Newborns

We found that the Happiest Baby on the Block did not work for our baby once she got older. Although it still worked at 3 to 4 months, it stopped being effective when our baby turned 6 months.

This is not surprising as most babies cease to stop sleeping in a swaddle once they can rollover.

When this happens, a bedtime routine was what we used to train our baby to sleep better.

Thankfully, at this point, our baby was already sleeping for longer stretches at night, so our sleep did not suffer as much.

In The End, Do What Works

In the end, I think that every parent needs to do what works for them and their family. It is important to find a balance between a parent’s health and a baby’s health. It is no point pushing yourself to the point of lashing out at your baby because you are sleep-deprived.

If you are at that stage, walk away and do what is necessary to keep yourself calm, including letting your baby cry itself to sleep, if required. If you have someone else around, hand baby to him or her while you take a break. I know that I myself have arrived at such a point many times during the newborn stage before I learned how to sleep train my baby.

A Final Thought for Others Approached by New Parents Seeking Sleep Training Advice

When a parent genuinely comes to you for sleep training advice or help, the worst advice that you can give to a new parent is to say, “hang in there” because it offers no real help.

I remember when I got this phrase countless times from other parents and even telephone advice hotlines staffed by nurses.

Please do not confuse a parent who just wants to be allowed to “moan and complain” (which is understandable) with a parent who is desperate for help. Some parents are not seeking real help but merely want a listening ear, encouragement and reassurance.

But when a parent is desperate for real help, often, they have come to their wit’s end. Often, they have already been “hanging in there” for a while and they are close to a crisis.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do for a new parent who is genuinely reaching out for help is not only to listen and empathize, but also to provide good recommendations.

Refer them to this Happiest Baby on the Block strategy or research some other good solutions that they can try.

If you are a parent sincerely seeking help, if someone only says ‘hang in there’ and offers nothing else, it means that they do not have a solution for you. But do not despair and do not give up.

Keep seeking solutions from others around you. I have found useful advice from these other sources too:

  • Mom friends with similar-aged babies going through the same thing.
  • Facebook parenting groups.
  • Internet.
  • Church parenting/family support groups.
  • Non-profit parenting organizations.

You will find help eventually if you look hard and ask around enough.

Seek and you shall find!